Punk Rock Picnic

From Belgium with love....

2007-10-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

We've been in Brussels a few weeks now but it only feels like a couple of days. We had a week to find somewhere to live while being put up in temporary (posh and expensive) accommodation which was pretty stressful and we made the mistake of viewing the cheap/scary/isolated places first which almost led to us packing our bags and coming home....lets just say first impressions are important but they aren't always right, especially when your basing a city's merit on what turns out to be the ghetto (Also wasn't a great start when the coach station we were dropped off at turned out to be smack bang in the middle of the red light district!)
Belgium is well.....Belgium is different. When i said it was the deep end of the pool I'm not entirely sure i realised how deep it would be or that someone had turned the wave machine on to boot!
It's amazing how much the little differences matter and how many of them there are, things like the fact that the symbols on the oven are weird so we've had a mixture of burnt to a crisp and soggy in the middle food or that when a light bulb blows its a full scale stress because you know you have to firstly find somewhere that sells light bulbs in a country you know nothing about and then you have to read the packaging, take it to a cashier and pray they don't make small talk or ask you anything because you really don't want to stand there looking like a dork completely oblivious to the fact that they re only asking you if you know there's a two for one offer or if you are paying by card or cash.
It was all very obvious that there was going to be a language barrier and that until I can take lessons that will be a problem but I don't think i really realised how much of a barrier that was going to be, how much it affects you not being able to understand the people around you. For one it instantly makes people a whole hell of a lot scarier. In the UK I've never been the sort of person to be afraid of groups of lads because at the end of the day they re usually just cheeky, looking to impress each other by shouting something dumb at the girls who walk past and are on the whole harmless (in the daylight at least) but when you don't know whats been said and you don't recognise the social uniform then it becomes a whole new scarier ballgame. For instance i wear converse shoes, if I saw someone in the UK wearing converse shoes then I'd be pretty safe in assuming they had at least mildly alternative music tastes and were probably a student/ex student. Here however converse are sold in every kind of clothing store to every kind of person....the social uniforms are different, perhaps even less pronounced over here, which is both wonderful (I can get cheap converse :P) and frustrating as it makes finding those with similar interests rather difficult!
I was also rather wrong about the ability to meet expats here, i was under the false impression that it would be the fact that you were all in the same boat, all English speakers, all thrown into a foreign country that would unite people easily but the thing i forgot was that this isn't any foreign country, this is the head of European Union. The expats here are high powered, euro-crats who may be very nice but on the whole they are the kind of guys and gals who have known what they've wanted to do since they were five and this is it, pushing very important, European pieces of paper in embassies, law offices, Parliament, the chamber of commerce and what am I? Well at best I'm going to be a temp but at the moment I'm a unfocused, hippy-chick who has no ambition or drive, at five thought she wanted to be an archaeologist (and now can't even remember how to spell it!) and now believes that people who live to work need their heads seeing to. So not only do i have the opposite outlook on life to most of my fellow Belgian expats but i then have the added bonus of really no being in the same boat as them, they are all here because they already have a job, if they had a partner in the UK well then that poor sod came in a sorry second place after the job and either stayed behind for the long distance thing or never stood a chance. Even if you do overcome the gaping social divide and think you might find something in common then there is the confidence factor to get over. The confidence factor being I have none and they were all on their school debate teams. Now you might think well great that means they'll do the talking and i wont have to....that would just be too easy now wouldn't it. Turns out that all that confidence comes with a big dollop of not needing to talk to newbies (even if you are one) because you have a ton of ready made work friends and an air of this is all so easy what's the big fuss...you see they've all done this before, or they intend to do it again so they aren't quite as desperate for human interaction as those of us who's best friend has become the french dude who came to read the water meter for 2 minutes and didn't speak English (and never calls hmmpf!) so when you re deliberately speaking English a little louder or smiling like a Cheshire cat at complete strangers because you heard an American accent they just think you're a loon rather than jumping at the chance to speak to you just because you speak the same language.

I realise this post makes it sound like i hate Belgium and that perhaps i shouldn't have come but its not all negative, everyday i find little things that delight me about life on the continent and I'm sure the more confidence i gain and more interaction i get the more things I'll find and who knows maybe in a couple of posts time I'll be forced to post a retraction of my first impressions of the EU crowd!

To Belgium with love?

2007-02-23T07:49:00.000-08:00

So for the pas few months the boy has been living the stressful life of a graduate, going from assessment day to interview to assessment day in search of the illusive beast known as graduate recruitment. It's not been a pleasant safari but finally the hunt is over. Two of his favourite companies have offered him jobs including the one he's been working towards since college. Understandably he's thrilled (though he still insists its a mistake and they'll change their minds!) and I'm very proud. You'd think once job offers are in the waiting game would be over but alas it's just the beginning of it, you see his favourite offer comes from Cisco (geeky network gods for a geeky network boy) who have two centres here in Europe: a small one in Reading here in the UK and the big one is in Brussels, Belgium. Now daunting as the idea is of moving to another country and learning the language it also seems very appealing and exciting. A completely fresh start (we'd have to get rid of most of our stuff and start again by the looks of it!) and a chance to live on the continent, spend weekends in Paris or Amsterdam, being forced to make an effort and meet new people. In Reading (though its the nicest part of the country, close to London but not too close, easy access to friends, places to do my PGCE, good shops and gigs) I'm worried that I'd find it hard to motivate myself to do anything except coast, that there'd be just that little bit of change that makes you homesick but not enough change to replace that with excitement.

I know "being thrown in at the deep end" is a cliche but here i think it works. Belgium is the deep end, it will be very much sink or swim where as Reading is half way down the pool where you can just about touch the ground if you tiptoe so you spend all your energy trying to balance rather than just letting go and swimming. Yes Reading will be technically safer but perhaps that safety is a hindrance?

I'm also a great believer in tempting fate, i think i want Belgium to much so it won't happen, i keep trying to find things in Reading to get excited about so that won't happen or just try to forget Belgium but then i find myself on Google maps looking at where cisco is and secretly thinking that one of those houses could be ours this summer.
If we do end up in Reading i need to make sure i know that it's a good thing, that it's an awesome place to live, that where ever we end up the boy has his dream job (well short of rock star!)and that where ever we are we are together and happy.

It is out of my hands at the moment anyway, we should here where the contract is within the next few weeks, every morning the first thing i do is check the post just in case only to bring up yet another takeaway menu!

2007-02-07T07:42:00.000-08:00

On Saturday morning a dear friend passed away. He'd been in our lives for nearly three years and has been all we could ask for from a friend. I realise this may make me sound insane, but this dear friend was CharlieSam the Hamster. I know it may seem silly to those who didn't meet him to be this attached to a 4 inch fuzzface especially as I'm a grown woman and the boy is a grown (tattooed and pierced) man but he touched our lives and made them a better place and because of that he is sorely missed.

As I've had to move around a fair amount in the past couple of years (the perils of falling in love with someone who not only doesn't go to the same uni as you but also doesn't live in the same half of the country as you out of term-time!) Charlie went everywhere that I went. We got him a carry case early on (which he learnt how to open and escape from pretty quickly) and took him on trains, buses, in cars...all of which he travelled in better than I did!(he'd be running in his wheel on the long distance coach while i was getting motion sickness in the toilets or when5 hour boredom hit on the train he'd be amusing the kids/grannies/students opposite while I ran out of books to read. How many other hamsters have seen Buckingham palace? (We missed a connection and went for a walk...not wanting to put charlie through the x-ray machine and into baggage he came with us! And how many have been to a graduation ceremony? (with no time to drop him off at home and too hot a day to leave him in the car the air conditioned ceremony seemed the best option). There for every big occasion, every up and down (always waiting to play the clown and jump off something if you needed cheering up) he has left a pretty big hole in our lives (and clothes from all the things he thought were snacks!) for such a little thing.
The comfort comes from knowing that he was not only better looked after than most hamsters and definitely more spoilt but also that we had five extra months to appreciate him and say our goodbyes. We were told the week we moved to Cardiff that he only had weeks to live as a lump had appeared under his leg and there was blood in his bedding but that as he was his usual happy, eating, running, jumping self that it would be left for nature to take it's course. For five months we have spoilt him rotten, kept him clean and warm and happy until Saturday when he passed away peacefully in his sleep. We don't have a garden and anyway we're never in the same place for very long so we buried his in a secluded spot where the robins nest in the park that way he's always somewhere special.

I may be a crazy cat/hamster woman one day but for now i make no apologies for loving something small and fluffy. While I'm not even sure if there is an afterlife for humans let alone their smaller friends I hope that he is somewhere in peace......maybe with the worlds supply of corn!
Thank you Charlie for all the laughs and friendship you gave us!

2007

2007-01-10T12:11:00.000-08:00

So a new year is here, whoopy do. This one crept in without much of a fuss, wedidn't bother to go out this year...new year's hype always seems to be a let down. This year it was wine and cheese with the BF and a film while we waited to see (or make that hear as we couldn't see buggery!) the fireworks.
New years is however always a good excuse to take stock of thinds and make plans that you probably won't stick to.
Last year was well to put it nicely... a mess, a train wreak.....a disaster on the scale of Vesuvius. But that does have it's good points. Saying 'things can only get better' isn't really true unless last year you lost all your loved ones in a horrific crash that also left you without your limbs and while you were in the hospital your house burnt down and the cat ran away' so I don't like to think it can only get better as quite clearly most things can get worse.

However... I did learn a lot of lessons last year that I don't think i'll be repeating in a hurry (for instance don't live with people you barely know...ever, ever, EVER and don't eat hotdogs from the vendors at millenium stadium.) And I hope I learnt how muchcertainthings and especially people mean to me and how special and sacred they are. I also learnt that I may be a wuss when it comes to many things (no one likes spiders really and those that claim to need their heads seeing to!) but at the end of the day I survive through melting point, there were times I wanted to crawl up in a ball and hide and although I dd for an hour or two I'm still here and life is still livable, infact it's better than livable!
I also know that although I'm still not comfortable in my own skin and I may not like myself very much someone else does, someone loves me unconditionally and doesn't see all the imperfections that make me want to break mirrors and scales! I've also ad the misfortune of meeting some really emotionally ugly people this past year, people that i strive not to be like everyday now, people that with their ugliness have taught me to be mindful of how I treat other people, to watch my temper and to look at myself before I blame someone else for my problems which was a hard lesson to learn but a valuble one.

This year is about graduating uni, it's about writing my dissertation, it's about enjoying living with my BF, it's about working out what I want to do with the rest of my life and finding out how to get there. This year money shouldn't be as much of an issue and neither will feeling safe and happy in my own home. This year we have a car so we can actually go and see places. This year I have a chance to get on with living. I dont expect it all to be roses, this isnt a fairytale, it's real life...couples argue, workloads get tough, bills turn up, people get sick, pets don't live forever but what ever does happen this year won't get blown out of proportion by feeling isolated or on unstable ground. I hoping for big things this year but just the little ones will do nicely and so far... we're not off to a bad start.
Now excuse me... I have to get on with work so that I can make allthe good stuff happen this year :)

"Please see me regarding your attendance last semester..." EEK!

2007-01-10T11:58:00.000-08:00

Well the new year is here and it's come with a new workload! I got two of my four essays in today, the other two are due tomorrow and Friday and I'm only half way through one of them :s Which means I really shouldn't be procrastinating here but I need something to refocus my mush of a brain! I'm surviving on very little sleep at the moment and I can't actually think of one real food group I've sampled in the last week....pretty sure 'junk' isn't a food group right? So all in all I'm a little scattered :P

i also had an email about my (complete and utter lack of ) attendance at uni which I have to sort out :s Means i have to go in and have a meeting to explain why I haven't been in which I'm not looking forward to. I know I'm not in any trouble and attendance isn't part of the grade but I'm still not looking forward to going in and explaining my neurotic reasons for hiding at home. I'm one of those people who finds it very hard to get words out when I'm emotional which is infuriating, i get upset and then cant speak and just sob like an idiot all the while thinking "why are you crying you idiot!" It's like cutting onions, I'm not crying because I'm sad or scared or annoyed...it just seems to be an automatic response to stress.
Anyway I'm not going in till next week after these essays are handed in , I have a hard enough time motivating myself without confrontations, I don't want to jeopardise getting these done and handed in by deciding that today's the day to bite the bullet and end up a bawling heap of snotty tissues.

2006-12-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

Well the holiday season is nearly over and now it really should be time to get down to some serious work (three essays due in two weeks....none started :s) The thing is my motivational skills have never been up tp scratch and although i do work best under ressure I really didn't want to have to this year. It's my final year at uni , these are going to be the last essays I may ever have to write surely that should make me eager to get them out of the way right? ....Wrong. Yule/Christmas has left me with that familiar 'meh' feeling and work seems to be the last thing on my mind.

Don't get me wrong, Yule was fun, Yule wasood.... the food was great and surprisingly stress free in our none kitchen ( seriously we have a cooker, sink andfridge in the corner of our living room) the tree was pretty, the company was great and there were of course presents :P the only problem really was well the date. For the past two years we've celebrated yule on the winter solstice (21st/22nd) as neither the boy nor I are Christian (he's pantheist and well I'm who knows I haven't found it yet something more earth based I think, we're on the whole good morale people, infact you could say we're beter for it as we don't need commandments or the fear of god to keep us on the straight and narrow). Last year we did the big main celebration with a yule log and lots of food on the solstice and then as it was a transition we had a modest celebration (just with food and crackers) on the 25th and went to midnght mass to see what it was all about (apparently mostly old people singing out of tune)....this year we thought we could cope without that, we didn't want to have our cake and eat it too and decided we weren't the kind of people who picked the best bits of religions and cast the sacrifices and undisirable bits out.
The trouble with celebrating early is that no one else celebrates with you, maybe it's different where hannukah is celebrated as well but here even half the muslim/hindu/sihk families celebrate christmas.
Haven't it early means it goes to fast i think, when our holiday was over everyone else was just gearing up for theirs and when christmas day came, we were left feeling left out, silly reallybt it almost felt like we'd had no celebration at all.

The thing is now we don't know what to do next year, weboth felt the same that it wasn't right and even if it's something we get used to it would have to change when/if we had a family... kids get picked on enough, being the little boy who doesn't celebrate christmas would be cruel and another thing, schools on't break up till the 22nd usually.

We aren't christian and I don't like lip service or hypocrites but maybe the winter holidays without the religion should be about family, fun and happiness? Maybe the date isn't as important as a celebration to brighten the dark winter nights? Maybe avoiding christmas means we're swapping one dictated lifestyle for another equally as restricting one? Who knows, well at least we have all year to think on it but first I really should get some dinner and get to bed, if i don't start work in the morning I won't get a degree therefore i wont get a job and won't have any money to have any kind of celebration!

101 things update time....

2006-12-11T11:22:00.000-08:00

Well from the last post (private at the moment I'll see how i feel about it next week) you'll see I did actually own a kitten for a day but I'm not going to count it, not sure if this will make it off the list by the date as right now I really don't want another kitten till we have the space, time and ability to give it a decent home and even then I think I'm leaning to wards getting another rescue cat that's a bit older instead.

As for the other things I really need to get a move on, I'm not sure what I've been doing recently....(drifting I guess you could call it?) These past few days alone I hope have kick started something in me, something that wants change and to stop putting everything off. I can't promise it will be this week as it's still pretty tough on my own but all this time alone with only my annoyingly loud thoughts seems to be doing something who knows, maybe a miserable week on my own is exactly what I needed.... time will tell....

101 things update

2006-10-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

At least during my hiatus from the internet I've been able to make some progress with my 101 things in 1001 days list.

The Big one I guess I've managed to tick off my list is moving to Cardiff, there was a point where it seemed impossible (nothing is ever as easy as you hope is it?) but we made it and here I am, sitting in my new bedroom, at my new desk. I think it's home now. I still don't know my way around to well but that is changing with time, we found the worlds greatest Indian takeaway tonight which is always a good thing :)

Being here and starting to get settled in has meant other things have started to fall in to place. I've had more time and energy for things of a crafty nature, meaning that I've actually started to do swaps now which I've wanted to for a while now.

The start of uni again and new cupboards that need filling has kick started me into making the purchases I needed to make, the hour and a half bus journey it takes me to get to uni would be pretty unbearable without the company of my new Ipod and being back near a tkmaxx meant that I had to cave and get myself the black converse I've been drooling over for so long!

Having a kitchen (well it's more of a stove and one piece of workspace in the living room but its a good stove and I don't have to share it with strangers!) has meant that I've started to cook more, I bought ingredients for bread making the other day which I will attempt this weekend I think.

I'm attempting to get more organized, filing system is working out ok I guess...But everything else needs a bit of work. The place seems to be constantly a mess (really I think socks/washing up/laundry breeds during the night!) and if I could just get a filing system for my brain and the emotional baggage piling up in its hallways then that would be great!

Swap likes and not so-likes!

2006-10-08T15:31:00.000-07:00

I've seen examples of this on various swap sites so I thought I'd better create one for myself. It's just a general idea of my tastes to go with my wists list.

Likes:

Hot Pink
Black
Red
White
Silver not gold
Brown with turquoise/hot pink or orange (but not on its own)
Punk/emo/rock
Cute skulls (and crossbones)
Pirates/Ninjas
Photography
Cooking
Cupcakes!
Bath and shower stuff (especially handmade or nicely scented!)
Hair clips
Childish things (I’m a big kid)
Practical things that are kiddie/pink (i.e. / Pink tool belts/ my pink vacuum cleaner)
Hand painted pottery
Anything punk/alternative
Journals and notebooks
Perfume
Japan/oriental
Sushi
Comic books
Bags/purses
My (currently broken) sewing machine
Pin cushions
My Computer
Silver jewellery
Incense
Sci-fi
Tarot cards
Some non-wiccan pagan items (seasonal)
Halloween
Bright/metallic/interesting eye shadows and eyeliners (neon pink is my current favourite as well as metallic green)
Cookbooks and recipes (especially baking)
Fairy tales (I’m doing my dissertation on them!)
Anything to help keep me organized!
Little boxes
Bright ribbons (especially those with children’s prints on them)
Fabric (anything but animal prints)
Tattoos
T-shirts (medium)
Hamsters (don’t forget the air holes! :P)
Reconstructed clothes
Old band t-shirts
Patches
Milkshakes
Chocolate
Felt monsters/handmade plushies
Soap making/moulds
Decoupage
Pens
Hair dye
Studded belts
Ballet slippers
Elephants
Buddha
Zen gardens
The beach
Sandcastles
Any items for my BF (he likes it when he’s included J he likes his new car (ford focus) his power tools, woodworking, his guitars, food!)
Driftwood

Each room in my new apartment has a theme.
Bedroom is Punk rock (tattoos, band merch, black/red.)
Bathroom is comics (batman/nightwing/ teen titans/batgirl/fables/joker - no superman)
Kitchen is Japan/sushi
Living room is a mixture of all of the above.

Allergies: Nuts
Aloe Vera
Tea tree
Witch Hazel
most earrings (but I tend to wear them anyway!)
BF has a thing against buttons but some are okay as I love them…just cant wear too many around him!
Hops (so anything with beer/lager)

Dislikes: Cross stitch
I can’t knit but love knitted things
anything too traditional or flowery...I like the odd flower shape or bright/vintage print but nothing that resembles my grandmothers curtains! (If that makes sense)
Rap/country/opera
Vanilla scent
Spells/ritual/religious material (I’m a non-wiccan pagan)
Hair bobbles/scrunches (I have short hair!)
Coffee
Flavoured teas (much prefer chocolate!)
Anything to commercial (not a big Disney fan)
I’m a UK sized 12 think that’s US 10/medium? In clothes but prefer things to be baggy.Shoe/sock size UK 5

The carpet, the past and a sweeping motion.

2006-10-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well the long haitus is over and I finally feel like blogging again now that we are settled in. To be honest i've had the time and internet for aweek or so now but just haven't been in the right frame of mind to sit down and write everything out so finally i've come to the conclusion that, well, I don't have to.

It's been a hectic, stressful wirlwind month (or months... I lose track!) the fallout from which we're still dealing with, we're far from in the clear and seeing it all in print in front of me isn't something i feel like doing right now, maybe at a later date butnot now. Now is the time for moving on, keeping busy, staying on top of things so they dont mount up and kick me in the ass again and enjoying what has been built up as "the year that makes it all worth it". I'm living in Cardiff with the man i love without housemates to balls things up, I'm on top of uni (so far), we have a car, we have friends here with us and it's my final year as a student. Yeah there's a lot of obstacles we have to still overcome and it's far from perfect but not only could it be a lot worse, it HAS been a lot worse.
Anyway now that's out the way time to get on with everything else!

Back from the dead!

2006-09-28T10:18:00.001-07:00

Finally we are moved in and settled in ou new flat in Cardiff with broadband! More details to follow, i'll get around to posting pictures of the place and what i'e been up to but for now I'm just signing into the land of the living. How is it that i survived 3/4's of my life perfectly well without internet and now I can't even cope with dial-up let alone without any access at all!

Tesco dial up in Sunderland became so unbearably slow (children were born, potty trained, somewhat educated and descovered blogging in the time it took for me to upload a purely text post!) that I only used the internet to sign up for swaps and check email (and even that was a sign on and go for a cup of tea/walk/ trip around the world while waiting for it to load the hotmail logo job!)

Anyway 4mb broadband has come to my rescue. Does thou shalt not worship false idols count if it's the cable man who installed my precious NTL?

Back soon with updates and crafty goodness!

Things to do tomorrow

2006-08-06T12:12:00.001-07:00

I've been slacking a little and if I ever get round to fnishing the post currently in drafts then all will be explained, but do not fear blogger....I'm still kicking!

Got a fair few things that need to get done tomorrow and tonight (including updating here!) and my brain can't quite keep up with it all without writing it down (what can I say the blonde roots are coming through and they make it very hard to concentrate!)

Tonight

Work out patterns for birthday project X
Work out material for birthday project X
Finish letters
Write shopping list
Finish book so I can swap it tomorrow
Update the boy's present list

Tomorrow

Go to library
Go to post office
Buy material
Buy stuffing
Buy more felt
Get misc birthday items :D
make cupcakes
make chocolate caramel flapjacks
Washing
Touch up the light box

Ongoing Projects
Pin cushion jar
lightbox
driftwood
sewing tool belt

*Warning-crafted presents listed below in white text....peaking spoils your fun boy not mine :)*

***felt monster***
***Sushi cushions***
***Sushi Cd Box***
***faux-pod cover***
***sleepy shorts***
***bookmark***
***blanket***
***tool belt***

Promise an update tomorrow once that list is cleared....there are many other things to be done to (boring things that no one wants to hear about but that take up my time!)

Light boxes, black grass and cupcakes

2006-08-01T17:55:00.000-07:00

Been a little absent for a few days, my throat's doing it's best impression of sandpaper and i think my tonsils are formulating an escape plan but hey it's all an excuse to say under the duvet and get cups of tea isn't it :)

Have been able to get on with a couple of long planned projects though, started working on the first piece of furniture for the new house yesterday, a shiney light box for above the bed. It's not quite photo worthy yet as we need to actually get the light fixtures and the perspex for the front...it's more a dark box at the momment but it's getting there. What started life as a cd tower will hopefully become a nightlight/headboard/reading light/tattooed beast. That may all sound confusing at the mo but hopefully pictures will follow soon and all will be explained!
Of course as we are in the declutter zone so we ended up painting the pieces outside on the grass.....lets just say the grass is looking a little stripier and darker than usual...la la laaa....hey least it's not the carpet/cat/bed :P

Also managed to kick off plans to bake every week with the first batch of cupcakes which are yummy but umm....lets just say theyre a little deformed. As I'm not at home I'm lacking a bit in supplies and thought as the cupcakes were in cases anyway i could get away with a flat tray....big mistake! Ten minutes in i was triple casing every expanding cupcake, covering the tray/myself/fellow cupcakes in batter and using up the majority of the cases in one go.

I'll be buying a new tray next time we go shopping :)

101 things #26 crafty swap.

2006-07-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

Well by next week I should be able to tick this off.

I'm signed up for three swaps, might be taking on a bit much for a first timer but what can i say I'd rather my plate was to full than go hungry. I'm an impatient little bugger i know, i know. I've signed up to send/recieve a letter send a tea and magazine page and a stationery swap. They aren't ubberly crafty but i will probably include handmade papers/embelishments in the stationery swap and probably something similar in with the letter, there's nothing like a little added surprise!
I'm guessing these will all be international as I can't see many Brits signed up so postage might be a litle high, think i'll post as early as possible so it can go second class to keep cost down.

Up and up (43/101 things progress)

2006-07-29T17:20:00.000-07:00

Progress on list one thing everyday that was positive (101 things number 70) Not quite working on doing it everyday for a month yet but thought it best to warm up to it.

Last few days.

Going to the beach with the boy
eating fish and chips on the beach (mmm…sand seasoning:P)
Sewing a cosy for my camera and being proud of it.
being met by the ktten on the corner after shopping (for lots of fuss)
toffee poppets
Watching the boys face when he got his power tools (or should that be toys?)
finding little battenburg cakes were on offer at the supermarket
My new R2D2 bag that cost me 75p in the 99p store :P

See more progress on: list one thing every day that was positive

lazy days, green eyes and hiccups.

2006-07-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

Today's one of those days where we meant to go out but stayed in bed till 12 instead. The joys of forgetting to set an alarm and staying up till stupid o'clock tinkering with the sewing machine. I don't really do much do I? Must remedy this today. Think I'll make cupcakes when I get back from food shopping. Ok so that's hardly a social wirlwind of activity but it's a start at least!
It's a little difficult at the momment to be the life and soul of the party, mostly because I'm stuck in the north far far aeway from all the parties. It's been a tough year but things are on the up, that said we're still not in the clear and there's still a few hiccups hiding along the way, I won't bore you non-readers with all the boring details (mostly because I don't want to get angry and bitter and just thinking about it all makes me see red) but basically last year was filled with the horrors of shared accomodation and now I'm left with a lanlord turning nasty on me, two ex housemates from hell (one of whom I have to share classes with when i go back to uni in September) and a potential courtcase/crap load of debt on my head. As someone who's usual form of attack in times like these is to curl up in a ball concurrently burying my head in the sand while washing it all down with a large glass of denial it's been a litle difficult to stay calm and try and deal with it all (let's just say my "dealing with it" has been over email as I'm afraid to use the phone as the words "wahhhh!....fulooga....umm.....blaaahhh" wouldn't quite resolve the issue I feel). The boy has been a tremendous help asusual and I'd probably still be under the duvet now if he hadn't been here. My brother's laidback approach to threatened court summons has also been a huge benefit, if only as comic relief at how blazaa he is about it all ("yeah....it scared the crap out of me the first time...but you get used to it!")
and in his own way my dad's helped to although as I'm now 22 and have seen the world through my own eyes it's little dissappointing how quickly you realise that your fathers not the superhero who can fix anything that you thought he was when you were four, they really are just trying to struggle along like the rest of us, except they're older and perhaps have more invested and so more to lose and less energy to bounce back!

It wasn't exactly comforting to be told that this is life now, one drama after another, I'm concentrating so hard on catching that break that it would be nice to be told it actually exists, that lull in drama where nothings going wrong, nothing's keeping you awake at night, guess i'll tell you in six months or a year if it exists but for now I choose ignorance as I don't want to become the bitter, angry person I've witnessed others become already.

On a happier not I've just realised this post doesn't have a picture, must remedy that. I really really really want to get me a decent working/crafting space in the new flat/house. Trouble is we aren't exactly spoilt for choice over here and i doubt i'll be swimming in unutilised room so don't think i'm going to get the masses of space i've been dreaming about (i.e. this, this and this <----Green eyed envy hits!). Guess we'll see whats available next month one thing I'm planning on doing isstarting off the way i mean to go on and staying organised, think i'll buy a ridiculous amount of boxes/files/selves and try, really really try to make sure everything has a home (which it doesn't run away from) for once! Surpose at least that means there will be little jobs that require the boy to use his new cherished power tools (who wouldn't love a boy with a dremel?)

Found another couple of blogs that I think I'm going to enjoy today, Agirlandaboy, leahpeah, Wise craft and born lucky.

101 things- #21 Build a sandcastle.

2006-07-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

Today I can officially tick the first thing off my list. Number 21- build a sandcastle is complete.
The boy and I had a little day trip out to the beach today as it was so hot. It was reallygood to get out of the house and just enjoy splashing about in the waves like kids. We both got our jeans soaked of course (at least one of us had the sense to wear cut offs :P) and I'm still finding sand in new places but that's what it's all about really, not caring or moaning that your too wet or there's sand everywhere (including in your fish and chips...hey it's seasoning!) but instead just being open to having fun and enjoying the day for what it is, a nice day out in the beautiful sun with your favourite person and all the sand in the world.

Anway here's my sandcastle....it's actually a Sand Igloo castle for the King and Queen of the beach innuits (sp?) which i think qaulifies but the boy said it was a yorkshire pudding....or a potato he wasn't sure which.

Thing I like most about sandcastles is how fragile and shortlived they are. You can build and build all you want but one wave or incoming foot and that's it, they're gone without a trace...back to the beginning, ready to become whatever you want next. With that in mind I let the boy do what boys like best....smashing things up :)

Today I also helped along task #41 and took a large amount of random pictures, mostly of the waves over my tootsies and of the boy of course. The froglettes in the pond were posing for me on my hand as well :)

Blog issues

2006-07-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a few gremlins around and I'm really not happy with the template, think I'm going to change it around a bit. It's annoying, when i use firefox everything seems to fall in to place but as soon as I go near internet explorer it buggers up! Grrrrrrr!

101 Things in 1001 Days

2006-07-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

I've been saying i was going to do this for a few days now and last night i finally got around with it. Why is it you struggle to think of stuffint the middle but then by the end you want just one more slot....anyway it's done now. I'll post a link in the side bar to make it easy to refer back to if and when i start crossing things off.

There's nothing too deep, just things i want to get done and things i've been meaning to get around to.

(Items in red are completed! Those in blue are in progress.)

1. Publish this list on my blog

2. Spring clean my computer

3. Decorate my home as has been planned(In progress)

4. Move to Cardiff

5. Plant an herb garden

6. Eat a piece of fruit everyday for 2 weeks (then keep up healthy eating habits)

7. Join the gym

8. Lose 10 pounds (In progress)

9. Get a dentist

10. Get an eye test

11. Detox for two weeks

12.Find an exercise regime that I can stick to

13. Sort out niggling health worries

14. Learn to drink more water (In progress)

15. Ride my bike again

16. Try an aerobics class

17. Find and watch solarbabies, l’apartment and Ponette.

18. BBQ on the beach

19. Picnic on a traffic Island

20. Go to the ballet

21.Build a sandcastle (completed 27th July- South Sheilds beach, Sunderland)

22. Watch all Dolph Lungdren films (In progress)

23. Watch all 250 top imdb’s films (In progress)

24. Fly a kite

25. Go to a car boot sale

26. Do a crafty swap

27. Make a big comfy quilt

28.Get a suitable crafting table for my sewing machine and bits

29. Post projects on craftster

30. Paint my table

31. Make candles

32. Make an item of clothing from scratch

33. Buy a tripod and use it

34. Make the box light(In progress)

35. Sell something I've made

36. Fill a sketchbook with cuttings that I like

37. Finish my scrapbook (In progress)

38. Enter a photography competition

39. Buy a filter kit

40. Use my SLR more

41. Take more random photo’s to document my days. (In progress)

42. Bake bread

43. Cook more meals in bulk and freeze them.

44. Acquire (and use) baking tins and utensils (a fully stocked kitchen) (In progress)

45. Make Sushi

46. Bake 52 types of cupcakes and cakes in two years (In progress)

47. Cook my way through all the good recipes in my recipe books (In progress)

48. Learn 5 cocktails and make them

49. Use my fondue kit

50. Make a decent soufflé

51. Go back to Castle Combe

52. Go back to Rocky valley and Tintagel

53. Do Ero-tourism

54. Do experimental travel

55. Go back to Glastonbury

56. Take the boy to the Gower

57. Take the boy to millennium point

58. Get references

60. Write my CV

61. Graduate from Uni

62. Write my dissertation

63. Get something published

64. Get a job

65. Get the work experience needed for PGCE

66. Get and use a filing system for important things

67. Don’t hand in any unchecked work

68.Ask for help when I need it and make sure I get it.

69.Have date nights at least once a month

70. List the ups of the day each day for a month (In progress)

71. Give blood again (before getting tattoo)

72. Receive flowers just because

73. Get a kitten

74. Explore pagan celebrations more (In progress)

75. Keep a birthday book updated with everyone’s birthdays in it.

76. Vote

77. Give away all my unwanted stuff

78. Do more voluntary work

79. Buy myself flowers

80. Read at least 12 books a year (and keep a record) (In progress)

81. Have a driving lesson

82. Develop the random films lying about

83. Own Jewellery

84. Maintain a blog (In progress)

85. Buy an ipod/mp3 player

86. Win something

87. Make a weekly effort to be more social and spend more time as a group rather than a couple.

88. Cancel phone

89. Pay off credit card

90. Have savings

91. Sell something on eBay

92. Get one last tattoo

93. Find comfy heels (that look decent)

94. Buy a coat

95. Get my hair back to natural blonde

96. Grow my hair

97. Get a suntan

98. Update my wardrobe and be happy with it (In progress)

99.Buy Converse

100. Get my nails done

101.Finish this list and start another. (In progress)

Ipods and lillypads

2006-07-24T14:55:00.000-07:00

Ok so either blogger or the wonder that is Tesco dial up is playing up something rotten so this will be the third attempt at posting this. Tesco internet is the bane of my existence, dial up is bad enough but Tesco is killing me!

Anyway... after a day of searching all over Sunderland to find felt I got the first on N's presents done and posted it off to him with his supergirl card :)
Turned out ok for the first thing i've done from scratch in years. Would have liked to have made it more of a case than a sock but I was seriously limited for time as it was 2 in the morning by the time I finished (hence the seriously crappy photo's).

I've got another Birthday project on the way but I have to keep that under wraps for a little while which is a shame because it's turning out pretty good. Should have it finished tomorrow I think.

On another note we've had little visitors for the past few weeks. Turns out theres not one but two giant frogs and their many hundred offspring. Last week we noticed that some of the tadpoles had finally made the jump to tiny little froglettes so many an hour has now been spent lying next to the pond pokingthe little froggys. Think after thi project is done they may have inspired me to make something frogshaped :)

Right really must get on with writing my 101 things list as I've been meaning to start it for a couple of days now.

Projects

2006-07-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

Today i've decided on a few projects for this blog and me with it. I'm working on my 101 things that I want to acheive in the next 1001 days tonight and i've signed up for a stationary swap (details will follow when i start putting stuff together). I've also signed up for the self-portrait challenge which will involve posting a different themed photo of muggin's each week.

Tomorrow I have to make N an ipod sock to post for his birthday which if it turns out half respectable i will post. I'l be making him more stuff and I've bought him a few things but as we're not seeing him till next month there's no rush.

I've also collected a fair sized bookmark folder full of crafty goodness to try out and today after a significant amount of browsing time in the only art shop in Sunderland i've found the supplies i need :D

Wish I lived in America or could afford huge shipping bills, i've stumbled across so many things I now think I can't live without on blogs and random web searching.

Random Meme

2006-07-22T10:16:00.000-07:00

I don't normally like these things, i find them a little impersonal but i saw this one and quite liked it and i'm bored so....

10 Favourites:
Favourite Season: Every season I think the next one is my favourite so right now Autumn. Love the colours, Halloween, bonfire night and the fact that as soon as Halloween is over I'm thinking about Christmas.

Favourite Colour: Most people think it’s pink as I'm partial to girly things but you can’t go wrong with black.

Favourite Time: Early evening.

Favourite Food: Anything with strong flavour…Indian, Italian, cupcakes :D

Favourite Drink: Coke/tea

Favourite Ice Cream: The chocolate ice cream I had on holiday in Turkey.

Favourite Place: On a greek island in the sun.

Favourite Sport: Not that into sports anymore…probably F1 motorsport.

Favourite Actor: hmmm..depends on the role….Nicholas Cage, Dolph Lundgren (makes me happy J ), Christian Bale.

Favourite Actress: Anyone with smarts…Julia Stiles, Audrey Tattou, Jennifer Garner

9 Currents:
Current Feeling: Tired, had a bit of a headache today.

Current Drink: none…had tea earlier

Current Time: 18:06

Current Show on TV: no tv

Current Mobile used: Orange (really must cancel it!)

Current Windows Open: loads of blogs, links followed and craftser

Current Underwear: Red lace trim, vintage flower print and strawberry socks.

Current Clothes: Cut offs and trucker shirt
Current Thought: My neck aches

8 Firsts:
First Nickname: NellySam

First Kiss: Karl something or otherprimary school…he used to chew cellotape like gum…odd!

First Crush: Apollo from the original Battlestar gallactica

First Best Friend: Ellen in nursery…she went to another primary school and I never could remember her last name/Becky…emailed her recently, she’s doing good..now has two kids!

First Vehicle I Drove: still waiting….

First Job: Michael’s food market…hell on earth!

First Date: Guess I’ve never really done the date thing…anniversary dinner with kieron was probably the closest I came to a first date.

First Pet: Dusty the cat but she wasn’t mine….clover the giant grumpy rabbit was mine J Then Snowdrop the hamster.

7 Lasts:
Last Drink: Tea

Last Kiss: The boy

Last Meal: Pasty for lunch or last nights was beef balti.

Last Web Site Visited:Blogger

Last Film Watched: Superman….oh my lord I was bored! (Frisbee in the aisles anyone?)

Last Phone Call: Birmingham LEA to ask them where to post my student loans forms.

Last TV show Watched: Scrubs in bed last night on the computer.

6 Have You Evers:
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes (I'm guessing the odd underage tipple counts:P)

Have You Ever Been Drunk: Yes (I'm a student who lives in a village…it’s practically a sport :s

Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Yes (less said about that the better)

Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: No.. unless my brothers airrifle counts?

Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: The only places to swim here are public swimming baths…

Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: I guess I have =/

5 Things...

Things You Can Hear Right Now: Whir of the computer, me typing, the boy clicking his mouse as he reads his comic, my cogs turning as I strain to here something else, the chair squeek.

Things On Your Bed: Pillows, sheets, duvet, shopping bags, receipts I just took out my purse.

Things You Ate Today: Cheese and onion Pasty from Greggs, two Danish pastries, cup of tea and a piece of gum.

Things You Can't Live Without Oxygen, love, computer, music, mayonaise

Things You Do When You Are Bored: Read blogs, write in this blog, sew, search craftster, poke the boy.

4 Places You Have Been Today:
Bedroom, Sunderland, Art shop, Tescos.

3 Things On Your Desk Right Now:
Phone, camera, junk.

2 Choices -
Black or White: Black
Hot or Cold: Hot!

1 Place You Want To Visit:
Rhode Island (The states in general in general)

Trawling through blogs...

2006-07-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

Looking around I keep coming across these inspirational women, not faultless perfect women but women who are real and funny and complex, women who put themselves into their blogs and their crafts and put them out there for all the world to see. It's amazing how many entries I've read from complete strangers from all around the world and thought..."that's what I think....I've been looking everywhere for that film (Solarbabies....my most missed film from childhood recently found on VHS by notmartha)..... I do that to"

I've been struggling this year to find my place in the world, I've worried over not being part of a larger group, not quite fitting in with the people around me and I've given great consideration to changing the way I dress, places I go, things I enjoy because I didn't think they were things that at 22 I should be concentrating on. I think this is still going to be something that troubles me for a while, until I'm in a happy, stable place again but it is a relief to read little passages into the lives of women who think like I do, who share the same interests and worries as I do and who are my age. There's a lot of inspiration for the pursuit of happiness to be found out there, lots of other people managing it or at least keeping their heads above water while they fake it.

43 Things.

2006-07-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

Earlier in the year I filled in a to-do list on 43things.com. I've neglected it of late as things this year have been pretty up in the air and it's been enough trouble getting the basics done let alone the pursuit of happiness, but I’ve recently logged back in and updated it a little. It's troubling how few things I can tick off in a year so I've decided to do something about that. Most of the goals are long term ones or things for the distant future that I need to keep reminding myself that I want but that doesn't mean I can't make positive steps that will take me closer to them.

Some of the short term ones have been loitering around on to do lists since I can remember and frankly that's not acceptable. Why haven't I had that picnic on a traffic island yet? or the BBQ on the beach of my own (suppose I've done that at an organized one on holiday that was ace but I need to do it for myself before I tick it off) Why haven't I made decent soufflés? Where's my herb garden and mural?
Then there are the long term ones that I haven't made any start on....why don't I drink enough water? Why don't I get the work experience I need to be a teacher? Time to buck my ideas up and get a move on, I'm 22 now can't dick around anymore acting like I'm a college kid and I have all the time in the world.

On that note I'd best get on with the day, most of it's already gone (so tired today...think I stayed up a little too late and now I'm fried!).

Health and safety briefing.....a.k.a the intoduction.

2006-07-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

So I suppose I should kick things off with introductions.....you are?...well at this point you are me :P No other bugger will be reading this at the mo I don't suppose but just in case anyone ever does stumble across it by accident or follows a link I'm Nelly. I'm 22, an English Lit/Creative writing Student at uni in Newport, Wales (uk). Hobbies and such aren't important at this point, i'm sure they'll show in my posts ut i guess motivation is. See at the momment i'm stuck on the grim north of Englan dor the summer at my bf's mom's house. There isn't much to do, my friends are elsewhere and the bf is busy with driving lessons, studying for cisco qualifications and comic books :P

All of which means i have at least four hours a day of bugger all to do. I've started filling these hours with baking and crafting and i just spent money i don't really have on a sewing machine to help aid this. It's been years since i did textiles at college/school but things are starting to come back to me...at least i hadn't forgotten how to thread the thing!

I'm also about to move to a new apartment in Cardiff (next month if we can find somewhere!) which means many many domesticated projects are on the horizon.

I'm hoping that with this blog as a record and as motivation I can fill my spare hours with productive procrastination (after all i have got a disertation to start as well :P) and have some fun doing it.

Anyway theres still a few things around here I need to tweak.

Brand Spankingly New!

2006-07-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well here it is, yet another in the long line of well intended, fresh and dewy blogs. I'm hoping this will be a little different, I'm hoping this will be one that I keep up, that this will be the one that will become more than just an odd rant every few months about this or that.

It might take me a while to get everything sorted, I just spent the day modding the template (I'm much to lazy to write my own html so I've just created a background image instead-all links to the original are still around somewhere though).

I'm planning on making this my general blog, there should be the usual journal entries in here as well as crafty projects, photos, recipes for the weekly baking projects and whatever else I get up to.